I've just spent the most amazing day in the company of a horse called 'Smiley'. The day was a birthday treat to myself and it was centred at a holistic horse centre; where horses are used to help humans interact better with each other. By learning to communicate clearly and decisively with horses, it seems we dumb humans can learn valuable skills which can help us in business and life generally. This is because (and here comes the science bit): the brain of a horse does not have the 'reflective' part which is a feature of the human brain. A horse only operates on the intuitive level. You can read up about this, but basically, it means that most of us have lost the knack of reacting intuitively. Or even if we haven't, we've lost the confidence to trust this valuable sense. Having signed up (I thought) to a fun day out in the fresh air (and it was a lovely sunshiny day), I was surprised to find myself engaging in 'leadership' and 'negotiating' skills of a very high order. At the beginning of the day, I felt myself to be the least confident member of the group. I was scared to approach the horse when 'invited' to (kind of) give the horse a hug. Each participant in turn had a chance to 'connect' with a horse, before the next exercise of leading the horse into a nearby field. By standing quietly with one hand on the horse's neck, and one hand on the end of its mane, I could feel our hearts beating in synchronicity. An indescribable experience of staying 'in the moment' and learning to 'engage' with the horse and everyone and everything around it. After this, volunteer members of the group were asked to lead the horses into the field. At every stage of the day, we were 'invited' rather than 'instructed' or 'cajoled' as might be the case with more conventional methods of learning to deal with horses. The horses, in turn, are looked after with kindness and respect. When I had a go of leading the horse, it seemed to sense my lack of confidence and did not walk along 'nicely' like some of the other horses. At one point, it stopped suddenly and wouldn't budge. I should have known why from the sudden smell; so of course we stopped for a poo break. Traditional horsemanship would require that a horse be made to go the way the rider wants it to go. However when I gave up trying to make the horse go the way I wanted it to go and allowed it to go its own way (still holding loosely onto the rope), I managed to lead the horse right round in a big circle back to where I had wanted it to go in the first place. This was 'allowing the horse to be right' - which I had learned instinctively. I got the feeling that the horse was 'allowing' me to lead it. In a few seconds I 'got' why my nearest and dearest never listen to a word I say; and why trying to 'boss' people about (especially family) just does not work. I've never considered myself to be a leader; but also not a willing follower. And now I know why. Good leadership is about communicating goals clearly. Which applies whether you are running a global empire or a family. Or both. After a lovely healthy lunch and some further coaching, we embarked on the last experience of the day with the horses. This was like watching or being in a scene from 'The Horse Whisperer'. And if you have never read that book or seen the film, I'd highly recommend it. But even better would be to have a go yourself.
