"I'm not a celebrity" insists Alastair Campbell

Alastair Campbell's joint appearance with Author Jeanette Winterson on last night's BBC Two programme 'My Life in Books'was interesting as it 'revealed' a couple of things that had obviously not been publicised very well so far about P.R.Giant Ali C. One was that, when he worked as Tony Blair's Press Secretary, Alastair Campbell's French was better than Tony's 'by a mile'. Despite this boast, however, Campbell was not exactly full of 'entente cordiale' towards the French. The other thing you might not have known about Alastair Campbell was that he made the list of nominees for the Literary Review's 'Bad Sex Award'last year. This award apparently goes to the writer who, from all the nominees, has been judged to have written about sex in the most cringeworthy way possible. I hear that the French do not have such an award because (naturellement) it is assumed that any French writer worth their garlic would deal with such a subject with style, substance and sensitivity. Campbell's feeble attempts to be self-effacing were made worse by comparing himself with Katie Price, who, he said, was a 'real celebrity'. He's not wrong there. As a household name twice over i.e. as 'Jordan' and 'Katie Price', the woman's fluency in the language of celebrity is ahead of Alastair Campbell's, not just by a mile, but by several. He's on the right lines though. By linking his name with that of Katie Price as much as possible, he'll gradually get into the celebrity groove more and more. Other things Alastair Campbell could do to 'celebretize' himself would be to a) launch his own brand of highland shortbread (see my previous posts on the p.r.values of shortbread) b)wear a kilt more often c) acquire a proper Scottish accent (look what it's done for Lorraine Kelly). But, of course, we all know that the only way to become a real celebrity these days is to enter The Jungle. 'Bad Sex Award'? Katie Price? It's just a short 'Highland Fling' to celebrity bling for the man Jeanette Winterson said was 'not as bad as we all thought'(Or words to that effect). Praise indeed.