It's a...baby?

In all the talk about what the Royal baby might be named, someone jokingly suggested that it might be called 'Godot'.

This would be after the play titled 'Waiting For Godot' by Samuel Beckett which, as I recall, was an exceedingly tedious play in which (not surprisingly) there was a lot of waiting around.

However, in this instance, it was not 'Waity Katy' who was waiting around, it was the rest of the world. The Duchess of Cambridge was in and out of hospital in just over twenty-four hours, which might suggest that she did not have any unnecessary medical interference with the process.

Prince William's mother Diana was in and out of hospital even quicker. I have just looked at the old footage of Princess Diana and Prince Charles on the steps of the hospital, prefaced by the news reporter's comment that 'No sooner was she in the hospital than she was out again'.

My recollection agrees with this because one Saturday morning, nearly 29 years ago, when I was heavily pregnant with 'my little prince', a friend rang me to say that Princess Diana had just gone into hospital for the birth of her second child. A few hours later Diana was safely delivered of Prince Harry. I went into hospital later that day (with a false start - like the one Kate is reported to have experienced). However, instead of sending us home again, the hospital kept me in and put me on a drip to induce the birth - which led to a forceps delivery. I went into hospital Saturday afternoon and my ordeal ended on Sunday around lunchtime. When the nurse in the labour ward placed my newly born son onto my chest, I suddenly realized that I had forgotten what I was doing there. It was all so terrifyingly awful. Hence the title of this post.

I came out of hospital about ten days later with severe post-natal depression (although I didn't realize it at the time). This had wide-reaching effects for me, my son and my husband.   Suffice to say that we didn't have a second child and even now, I find it hard to think back to this time without getting upset.

Maybe if I'd had a birthing 'coach' like Kate was reported to have had, things might have been different. (The annoying thing is that, at the time, my husband had a private health care package which would probably have picked up the bill for such a consultation.)

Or if I (and everyone else) had listened to my mother who said, in her simple, homespun wisdom: 'The apple will fall when it is ripe'.

I am pleased to see that the Royal baby appears to have had a gentle entry into the world. He came in his own good time. Which is good for him, good for his mother and good for his father (and ultimately, may be so for the nation).

However, a good birth should be everyone's birthright.

LABOUR OF LOVE...

This morning I awoke to another brilliantly sunny day and when I looked out of the window, my ageing yellow VW Beetle was covered with a layer of polleny stuff.

So I brushed it down with a soft brush and then I did something I've never done before...I got a bucket of water and a sponge and started to clean my old 'Love Bug' in the sunshine.

Previously, I've always taken my car to a car wash. Or let those blokey blokes in the supermarket carpark take car of it. After all, being blokes, they know better than me how to clean a car. I thought.

But then some friends told us that they clean their cars at least once a week with a simple bucket of water and a sponge.

Admitedly one of these friends runs a rather posh chauffeur service so his car has to look nice and clean all the time. Whereas sometimes, I let my car go for weeks without so much as a 'lick and a promise'.

It was really a labour of love because I didn't have to do that job today.

Unlike the Duchess of Cambridge.

After all this 'waiting', her time has now come. Apparently, her labour of love is just beginning.

To all those who labour today (including my beloved son, who is studying hard for exams), good luck
and God bless!

A pregnant pause....

Every time a helicopter goes overhead at the moment, I wonder if that's the one that will be whisking William to Kate's side for the birth. (Or indeed Kate to the labour ward).

I was sitting in a spa waiting room yesterday, alongside a heavily pregnant young woman, when a helicopter whizzed overhead. I jokingly asked her if it was coming to take her to the hospital for a special delivery.

The young woman told me that she was expecting twins - a boy and a girl - and I thought 'How textbook perfect is that?'

Even 'Princess Kate', with all her celebrity looks, lifestyle and money couldn't be lucky enough to order that.

Or could she?

Media Sickness - morning, noon, afternoon, evening and night-time...

This morning, as I look at the news websites, I see that Colleen Rooney is 'showing off her baby bump' on a beach somewhere. Further down the page, there is a picture of a conventional-looking mum and a baby, under a headline asking 'Can you be a mum and have a career?'

I think the answer lies somewhere in the 'strap lines' further down the page of the BBC news website - where you might actually miss them (unless you have your eyes peeled for the words 'Kate', 'Catherine' or other quasi 'Royal/Celebrity' words).

If you did, this morning you would have spotted the line 'Kate photos to be published in Italy'. Click on that and you get an article from News UK 'revealing' that the Italian 'Chi' magazine is to publish pictures of Kate sporting a baby bump on a beach in Mustique (Oh, and by the way, she is holding hands with William. I think that came somewhere in the report at least).

From the time Kate appeared in a student fashion show wearing that now famous 'Prince-bagging' dress which looked like a black net curtain creation over a  bikini, the media have been in a frenzy over the girl's over-exposed body. We had the same thing with Princess Diana's 'see through' dress when she was pictured outside the nursery school where she worked.

What is interesting about the Mustique photos is that they were (allegedly) taken on a public beach so, like the fashion show pictures, are (kind of) 'fair game'. (Although if you read my last post, you will gather that I am not entirely convinced that the 'balcony' pictures can really be blamed on others). The media rumpus is all part of the marketing of the Modern Monarchy. They like us to believe that they don't want pictures of bare-chested (or breasted) royals pasted over the newspapers and magazines. In reality, though, they know that those pictures are the USP (Unique Selling Proposition) of their business; and that, in 'trying' to 'sell' them to their 'market' i.e. you and me, exclusivity is king. No longer can the royals pretend that they are the victims of the media. They are as complicit with it as the most publicity-concious celebrity.

Talking of which, I noticed  yesterday a strap line, declaring that Madonna had joined some social media website and that the first thing she did was to post a picture of a cleavage to it.  (I'm not an expert so I couldn't tell if it was hers; but she knows a thing or two about marketing if anyone does). There was a headshot of a smug-looking Madge to go with the line.

So it seems, in our celebrity culture, that you CAN be a mum and have a career, if you are a) A WAG of a famous sportsman or other kind of celebrity or b) Married to a royal - preferably the heir to the throne or b) Are Madonna - either the mother of Jesus or the one we adore in contemporary society.

Thankfully, '100 Most Powerful Women'  rankings recently listed some other kinds of career women mothers performing other kinds of roles. I hadn't heard of most of them - naturally - but coming in at number 26 is Her Majesty The Queen. 

I don't recall every seeing a picture of Her Majesty in so much as a swimsuit. That's probably because she would only go about in a swimsuit on a beach which she owned (or her sister owned). Isn't that what proper royals do?

The Duchess's New Clothes

Just after the marriage of HRH and HRH last year, I wrote a blogpost in June 2011 with the above headline.

At the time, everyone was talking about what Kate was wearing and, predictably, this interest has not waned at all.

I signed off my blogpost with the comment that I doubted that there could be more interest in 'Princess Middleton' unless she went completely naked; which of course, she has now done (allegedly).

One could add, 'after a fashion' - the fashion in question being the chosen swimwear of many in the South of France i.e. a monokini or a nonokini.

When I worked as a Junior Copywriter under the supervision of Salman Rushdie at Ogilvy many years ago, I learned that one of the basic rules of Advertising was to 'First attract attention'. Without your audience's attention, you have no chance of delivering your message.

Catherine Middleton certainly did that when she wore her 'see-through' dress for a student fashion show, at which Prince William was said to declare that she was 'really hot'.

Nearly a year-and-a-half on, the girl's still managing to keep the interest of the world's media glued to her every appearance. However, it now seems that her husband is finding this more than a little tiresome. The couple were staying (we are told) at a villa belonging to Viscount Linley.  Viscount Linley, you will recall, is the son of  society photographer, Lord Snowdon, formerly Anthony Armstrong-Jones.

If Anthony Armstrong Jones (Tony), had not married a princess, he might have become more involved with the Paparazzi himself, who knows?  In any case, if Viscount Linley, with his upbringing, cannot recognize a good spot for a paparazzo photographer a mile off, then who can?

Which brings me to another 'soundbite' I recall, from the man who said 'News is something someone somewhere doesn't want published. All the rest is advertising'.

Olympian effort by former UCA student leaves everyone breathless...

...(including herself)

'Id rather run a mile than do any kind of sport' said one former couch potato at a recent UCA alumni gathering.

So it was a real surprise when Su Moberly (BA (Hons) Fine Art 2004 awarded herself a solid pewter medal 'For Keeping Her Head Above Water Against All the Odds'.

The medal was made with the help of staff and technicians at the college last week on an annual Alumni Reunion Day. Su made it in between nattering to old mates, watching some great videos, having a lovely outdoor lunch; and generally having a bit of a jolly.

Asked how she felt on being awarded such a high honour, Su announced that it had been a 'tough year' and that she had 'felt like giving up' many times. However, in the end, inertia and depression had given way to an all-out effort in keeping with the 2012 vision we have all come to admire.

Nice to see that the Olympian ideal is not completely extinguished round here.

Congratulations! You survived 'Blue Monday'

If you're reading this, you will have survived 'Blue Monday' - which I wrote about in my blog yesterday.

'Blue Monday' is so named for several reasons; all of which are pretty negative.

However, yesterday, from where I was writing, there was some brilliant sunshine - even though the day started icily cold and became so again later in the day.

I wrote about some of the things which I hoped would get me through the day yesterday. However, I have to admit that I was very low by the evening.

Anyway, nasty Blue Monday is over for another year. And, as I am writing this after mid-day on Tuesday, we're nearly through Tuesday too. By tomorrow morning, we'll be half-way through one of the most difficult weeks of the year. 

Keep going!