TALKING TURKEY WITH A VEGETARIAN.....

As someone who is always behind with Christmas preparations, I'm learning to laugh about this these days (instead of crying and getting stressed-out).   'Laughing is better than crying anyday' as my mother always used to say, so here's something which I hope will make you laugh this Christmas. It's the poem called 'Be nice to your turkey this Christmas' by Benjamin Zephaniah. You can read the words here. Or see his wonderful performance of the poem on 'Youtube'.  I heartily recommend it and wish you a very Happy Christmas and New Year.

home page
(reproduced here
with permission)

Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas

Cos' turkeys just wanna hav fun

Turkeys are cool, turkeys are wicked

An every turkey has a Mum.

Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas,

Don't eat it, keep it alive,

It could be yu mate, an not on your plate

Say, Yo! Turkey I'm on your side.
I got lots of friends who are turkeys

An all of dem fear christmas time,

Dey wanna enjoy it, dey say humans destroyed it

An humans are out of dere mind,

Yeah, I got lots of friends who are turkeys

Dey all hav a right to a life,

Not to be caged up an genetically made up

By any farmer an his wife.
Turkeys just wanna play reggae

Turkeys just wanna hip-hop

Can yu imagine a nice young turkey saying,

'I cannot wait for de chop',

Turkeys like getting presents, dey wanna watch christmas TV,

Turkeys hav brains an turkeys feel pain

In many ways like yu an me.
I once knew a turkey called........ Turkey

He said "Benji explain to me please,

Who put de turkey in christmas

An what happens to christmas trees?",

I said "I am not too sure turkey

But it's nothing to do wid Christ Mass

Humans get greedy an waste more dan need be

An business men mek loadsa cash'.
Be nice to yu turkey dis christmas

Invite dem indoors fe sum greens

Let dem eat cake an let dem partake

In a plate of organic grown beans,

Be nice to yu turkey dis christmas

An spare dem de cut of de knife,

Join Turkeys United an dey'll be delighted

An yu will mek new friends 'FOR LIFE'.

Goodbye Bridge Farm Dairy Products. Hello Ambridge Organics...

Last night's 'Archers' episode ended with Pat's declaration (or was it Tony's? I'm usually doing ten other things when I listen so I can't be sure) Anyway, one of them said it was time to say 'Goodbye' to the name 'Bridge Farm' and to emphasise the name 'Ambridge Organics'. This rebranding exercise has come about because 'Bridge Farm' suffered a massive decline in sales recently due to an E-Coli outbreak in their dairy. (Turns out Clary had a tummy upset on her day off; which she didn't report because she was better by the time she went back to work). Two young children were hospitalized and Clary lost her job over the affair.

Pat and Tony's son, Tom Archer, meanwhile, has managed to keep his sausage business untainted by the sorry episode. He's been pushing to incorporate the 'Bridge Farm' label into his expanding empire and to rebrand the ice-creams and yogurts under his name. Not to be outdone in the business empire stakes, Tom's sister Helen, who recently became a mother to Henry, thought the brand should skip a generation and bear the label of her son's name. There was a big boardroom row and, for a minute, I thought we were going to see 'blood on the carpet'. However, all seems to have been resolved amicably in this 'Everyday Story of Country Folk' as the programme used to be subtitled.

That's why I like the 'Archers'. You can go off to the loo - or even go and make a cup of tea or mow the lawn - but you're always able to catch up with the plot; and even glean the latest public information policies without the least bit of effort.

Mary Queen of Flops...

There's a very irritating woman on the telly at the moment who is so up her own surname it's just unbelievable!

She is on a mission to 'dress the older woman'; and is, condescendingly, visiting 'beyond the pale' places such as Guildford (which I LOVE thank you very much); in order to prise such women away from their comfort zone shops such as M&S and other middle-class, middle-aged fashion outlets. This arrogant, egotistical woman is telling us we have a choice between 'frumpy' (like your granny) or 'frivolous' (so that you have to pretend you are buying stuff for your daughter).

Well, let me tell you Mary, Mary; on the contrary:  There are actually a lot of really nice shops out there; staffed by really nice, polite people. And, in these recessionary times, they are falling over themselves to serve us.

So why should we go anywhere near a shop which has anything to do with such an outrageously rude and overbearing ginger monster?

Snap, Crackle and Pop! How Advertising appropriated popular culture.( And vice versa)

Last week I went to a very interesting talk by Richard Alford, Managing Director of M&C Saatchi. It was the last (but not least) of a series connected with the exhibition of pop art at the Woking Lightbox. The exhibition title 'Snap, Crackle and Pop', came from a slogan used many years ago by the advertisers of 'Rice Krispies' - the idea being that, when you added milk to the cereal, it made that snap, crackle and pop noise - evidence that the stuff was really crispy and fresh. The old commercials were really good in their day, but the advertisers have updated the original idea and made a new version which is much more 'empathic' and, actually, conveys the original message to the modern audience even more clearly, I think. See it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS7X02Wa3GA&feature=player_embedded

As you can imagine, I had high expectations of the level of presentation, given the profile of the speaker. And  was not disappointed. Mr Alford gave a 'no nonsense' critique of what Advertising should be about, in his opinion, as a practitioner. He admitted first off that he was no expert on Pop Art, Post-Modernism; or any of the other art 'isms' which are bandied about.  He emphasised that the point of advertising is to sell; but sometimes, it's not surprising that potential customers don't 'get' the message, as often, the advertisers themselves are not clear about what they have to say.

The audience was treated to a few examples of successful and unsuccessful uses of Pop Art in advertising. Then, with the warm glow of a free glass of wine; and a balmy early autumn evening ahead of us, we left the gallery feeling a bit more positive about the world of advertising.

To Fly to Serve. Or to Fly to Save? Can you put a price on a beautifully-crafted tv commercial?

The current British Airways television commercial http://youtu.be/a4JdQi60an0  gives me goosebumps. We all know that throughout history planes have crashed and that, in more recent history, the glamour and adventure of flying have been replaced by terror punctuated with tedium and hassle. Also that, particularly in times of war, it was the chaps who went off and left the wives and children at home.

The thing about this commercial, is that probably very little of it applies to today's flying experience. However, the spirit of the thing is one which, as a nervous flyer, I embrace wholeheartedly. It speaks to me in a language that, I imagine, speaks also to people who are looking for adventure when they fly. People might jet off to experience white-knuckle rides in far-flung places; but they don't really want a white-knuckle ride whilst they're getting there (or back).

Most of all, it speaks to me in my mother tongue. In flying, more than anything else, language and communication are paramount. When I was flying home from a holiday several years ago (on a British Airways flight, as it happens);  we hit a patch of  turbulence, which was very scary. The slightly posh English accent of the pilot assured me  'We'll get through this'; and I immediately got a visual picture of someone who had been properly trained (possibly RAF with a handlebar moustache); and,  momentarily, was calmed and trusting.When we landed, I wanted to hug the pilot. I certainly did that 'kissing the tarmac' thing.

I am sure that other national airlines offer the same 'usp' to their customers. However, in making this ad, I think British Airways must have been thinking of me.

My thoughts are with anyone who is flying today. Happy landings and safe returns!

















http://youtu.be/a4JdQi60an0

Maths GCSE. It all adds up at any age...

You probably read about the six-year-old girl, who gained an 'E' grade at GCSE mathematics, when the results were published yesterday.

Good for her. It has taken me a lifetime of avoiding maths and being taken for a 'duffer' at everything else; before 'confronting one of my demons' and sitting my Maths GCSE for the first time in June.

Of course, now that I have passed; at the requisite 'C or above' grade; I can say, as many young people do, that I could have got a higher grade. Yes, I could have got a higher grade, had I done more work; and also if I'd taken the course over the recommended two years instead of the one which I'd set aside.

Still, the good thing about my grading, is that I never ever have to do Maths again if I don't want to.

However, the little girl who got an 'E' grade still has to continue with, what she admits, is not'her favourite subject'. She will need to get that magic 'C' grade in order to give up the subject completely, like me. Or to pursue her other ambitions.  With her current track record, she could be on course to get an 'A' or a starred 'A' before she is very much older; unless she goes off the subject entirely. Which I would not recommend; otherwise she could find herself in my position.

Still, never too late as they say....

I've got my 'Silly Season' hat on!

Sitting in a waiting room this morning, I picked up an issue of 'Hello' magazine, dated 26th July, 2010.

From this, I was able to glean that Prince William and Kate Middleton were 'living as man and wife' before they were even engaged - shock! horror! They were apparently 'rumbled' when they stopped off to buy groceries in a North Wales mini-market. It is a well-known 'fact' that Royals and Celebrities never carry anything so vulgar as cash or credit cards; so Kate had to pay by credit card, thus revealing her identity. (No doubt the footman or lady-in-waiting carries the credit cards now).

Prince Beatrice was pictured jumping into the sea in the South of France, whilst on holiday with her boyfriend. Whilst in the same issue, Cheryl Cole's mum was pictured pushing a trolley round the supermarket to buy 'healthy food' for her daughter, who was pictured blubbering into her scarf. No change there then.

Karren Brady had escaped 'The Apprentice' firing line for a family holiday in Mauritius; and Gethin Jones and Katherine Jenkins were 'loved up' in some distant destination.

Victoria Beckham looked as miserable as sin, pictured with her husband and three sons. Apparently, she is 'over the moon' now that she has a little female ally to take to the footie with her.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth Hurley was shown plugging her organic food label in rural Gloucestershire. I wonder if that's given HRH a bit of competition (with the food, I mean, not the publicity: obviously Liz would win 'hands down' there!)

Not to be upstaged, Carla Bruni is pictured at some state occasion with her husband demonstrating some 'Gallic charm' by kissing her hand as she sits regally amongst the invited guests. Obviously, it worked a treat as she is now very pregnant.

I seem to remember, some band was singing 'I predict a riot' quite a lot last summer. Or was it the summer before? No matter, as you can see, 'plus ca change'.

And remember, you did NOT read here it here first!

Fry's English Delight and the Art of Appropriation

Just been listening to 'Fry's English Delight' on Radio 4 (which will soon be available on 'Listen Again' for another week). I always enjoy this programme and, this week, Stephen Fry was dealing with the gentle (and sometimes not so gentle) art of persuasion. He talked about the subject in terms of every area of human activity - from Politics, Economics and Commerce to Love and Emotion.

How far are we all persuaded by the clever marketing and advertising of products and services? Or the 'propaganda' (or corporate communication) of the big company? Or the political 'spin' woven by the ubiquitous 'spin doctors' in the speeches they write for the politicians; and the policy documents which they edit?

It's an old story, well-documented in books like 'The Hidden Persuaders'; and, by now, a subject of daily interest in the media.

Mr Fry is no stranger to the arts of persuasion himself. He has become almost synonymous with 'Twitter'; and one of the main celebrities people associate with the 'Twitter' brand.

The name of the programme itself, 'Fry's English Delight', has been appropriated from the advertising campaign for Fry's Turkish Delight, the chocolate bar with the pink, gelatinous centre. The original 60's television commercial for the product featured a scantily clad and very Western-looking blonde lady, who prances barefoot across the sand from her tent in the desert to profer her delights (the chocolate, although you could be forgiven for thinking other delights were on offer) on bended knees to her 'Master' (a very 'Lawrence of Arabia' type character).The1984 commercial is recast to use a  cast of characters, who were more in tune with the times; and therefore, more believable to the audience. The dark, swarthy male character is still there; but the woman is also dark and mysterious and dressed in more of an Eastern-looking outfit. The background music has some of the flavour of 'The English Patient' and the male character shows gentleness and affection to the female, whose face emerges, like magic, as he brushes his hand along a shape buried in the sand. The 'packshot' at the end involves the man slicing a bar of Fry's Turkish Delight into two with an enormous curved weapon. Then a snake wiggles along the sand. The snake suggests sex is involved; so I don't know whether the woman gets half a bar of chocolate for 'afters'; or if the swordmanship is a sort of threat, in case she doesn't do what he wants. Obviously there is room for an update which reflects the political and social mores of our times. Was I imagining things? Or did I see such an update recently? I could only find the 60's version and the 1984 version on 'Youtube'. If anyone knows of a later version, please tell me where I can see it.

In any case, the advertisers have paid substantial sums of money over the years to promote their product. And that is what I think about when I see the words 'Fry's English Delight'. I now also think of a very entertaining radio programme; so that's very clever of Mr Fry.

Carl Bernstein is right: 'The British Public has lapped it up'.

Carl Bernstein, one of the journalists credited with exposing the 'Watergate' affair, has described the recent phone-tapping fiasco, as a 'British Watergate'. This may or may not be shown to be the case, in due course. However, he is surely right in his assessment that 'The Gutter Press' and other media are not entirely to blame. We, the consumers of newsprint and footage, also bear some responsibility. I don't know how many copies of the last issue of the 'News of the World' were sold; reportedly, for 'charity'.However, I wonder how many 'deductions' for expenses have been/will be made before that charity donation is actually made.
We also hear that MP's are delaying their holidays for 'one day' so that they can meet to discuss this issue. This will mean more expense for the rest of us. No doubt, those 'honourable persons' will be claiming for delayed and cancelled travel plans (possibly upgrading to Business class for the inconvenience - if they weren't already). And they get 'Brownie points' into the bargain!
Well, not from me! It's bad enough that we have to put up with them all for the rest of the year. Send them away on their hols immediately I say. Then the rest of us can settle down to enjoy the 'Silly Season' in peace.

Art with Soul at Tate Britain

On the week-end, I spent a wonderful half-hour watching Mark Wallinger's wonderful installation piece at Tate Britain; called 'Threshold to the Kingdom'. I'd seen it before, but I hadn't sat through the whole thing previously (about 12 minutes). You can find a couple of versions on video sites, but I wouldn't recommend them. You really need to see the piece itself, at the Tate; as it is so site specific as to be rendered meaningless without its context. I won't spoil it for you by describing the artwork, other than to say that it's rare enough to find art which is so thought-provoking and clever. However, it's even rarer to find art which is also so utterly moving.

Ok I will describe it - but I can't do it justice:  You are sat in a part of the Tate which looks and feels like a high-domed cathedral. You are looking at the 'International Arrivals' gate at a London airport and listening to the ethereal strains of the famous 'Miserere' by Gregorio Allegri.  As people of all types and nationalities emerge from the arrivals gate, and stride towards you in slow motion, you feel as if you are God welcoming your people into the Kingdom of Heaven. The latterday St. Peter, on the left of the screen (pearly gates?), watches each batch of new arrivals; and you half expect him to get up and bar some of them from entering. That doesn't happen (hope for us all?).

The whole experience is so meditative, I could sit and watch it for hours. If you've seen it already, I'd just like to remind you that it's worth visiting again. If you haven't seen it, I would urge you to go and see it (and let me know what you think).

Gaga over Venus in tennis whites...

Although I'm not a great tennis fan, I've half an ear on the commentary today; and just heard that the extremely stylish number being worn by Venus, has been designed by the same person who creates stuff for Lady Gaga. Obviously a very winning number!

The Duchess's New Clothes

Gasp! Shock! Horror! (Perhaps for fashion afficionados) and Amazement and Delight (for us lesser mortals) - The Duchess has worn the same dress in public twice! This cannot be right. Surely a Royal Personage, just married to the (almost) King; and with stacks of money, must be in want of a new dress every time she makes the front page of the newspaper!

But no! And this is not the first time HRH has worn the same thing for the second time. The day after her marriage to Prince William, she was reported to be wearing a pair of 'wedgies' which she had actually 'recycled' and worn at least twice. At this rate, she'll be catching me up and pillaging charity shops and attending 'swishing' parties when she wants a new frock!

However, Eco-Fashion warriors need not get too excited. I'm sure it won't last. The Duchess of Cambridge has already been described as an 'asset to the fashion industry'  so it won't be long before the Designer samples get delivered by the truck-load.

In the meantime, Tesco has 'ripped off'  - or 'paid homage to' (whichever side of the fashion divide you're on)  the little beige Reiss dress which the Duchess wore recently. The dress has completely sold out and more are on order to satisfy the, reportedly, insatiable demand.

The dress is described as beige - a sort of nude colour, at least, for her complexion. And, like the proverbial 'Emperor' Princess Catherine could probably only cause more of a stir if she went completely naked.

June is busting out all over!

Although we seem to have gone from winter to summer weather these past few weeks, it's good to see proper summer weather on the first of June.

I hope it lifts your spirits as much as it does mine - and that you have a very happy Wednesday.

Also, that Sandra June (so aptly named) has a very Happy Birthday indeed!

The Law is not (so much of) a Twit

To contradict part of my blog post on the 23rd of February this year ('The Law is a Twit'), it seems that things have moved on apace. Today we hear that Twitter will, after all, be prepared to hand over details of 'Twitterers' who break the law on 'Gagging' orders; if requested to do so by legal authorities. (However, the big chiefs at Twitter have said that they will inform such Twitterers beforehand so that, presumably, said people can close their accounts/run a mile or whatever, before the authorities catch up with them.)

It was difficult to see how things could have panned out otherwise. Although some representatives of the Twitter organisation were initially suggesting that Twitter would not reveal details of these 'Gossippers' or 'Slanderers' (depending upon how much money, power and influence is deemed to be at stake); it was hard to see how Twitter could be treated any differently in Law than any other type of Media. It followed from this, that if Twitter did not 'play ball' with the legal authorities, the organisation would have lost a great deal of credibility; not just in this country, but also globally.

Earlier in the week, some people said that Twitter is no more to blame for what appears on the site than the comments made on an old-style soapbox or over a garden fence. Also that as Twitter is 'not a publisher', that was another reason why the organisation was not 'responsible' for its content in the same way as a newspaper. Interesting arguments - which may be continue to be explored - but for the moment, the Super Injunction is King.

The old school playground chant "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me" needs to be updated to include the postscript "especially if I have a Super Injunction to silence my critics"

Monday Morning Motivation

My local health club has just sent me an email with some 'motivational words'. I can well do with this today - the first 'normal' Monday morning for weeks; what with Easter and Royal Wedding Bank Holiday malarkey. Perhaps that's why I'm feeling a teensy weensy bit low and finding it difficult to 'get going'. So I'm hoping these magic words and phrases will help:

Motivating Words

• "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself" – George Bernard Shaw
• "Now is the right time." – Lotus Sutra
• Life is an ever shifting kaleidoscope: A slight change and all patterns alter." – Sharon Salzberg
• "Don't be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams." – Proverbs
• "Never, never, never give up." – Winston Churchill 

Doors to Manual by Friday

Whenever I am flying anywhere (not very often these days), I always feel better when I hear those three little words, 'Doors to Manual'. I think it means we have landed and that, until the next time, we have been transported safely through the weather and turbulence all around us. We have arrived at our destination in one piece and can now carry on with the next stage of our life; whether that mean work or pleasure.

The phrase 'Doors to Manual'  has  been sneeringly used throughout the courtship of  HRH Prince William and Catherine Middleton, as a snide reference to the fact that Catherine's parents both worked as cabin crew.

However, the phrase could never be more apt as a metaphor of the current situation.

Not only the couple themselves and their extended families, but the entire nation; which is in a state of in-flight limbo at the moment, will perhaps be mouthing those magic words after Friday.

Happy Landings everyone!

Catherine Zeta-Jones may not be such a Happy Bunny this Easter

Recent news reports say that Hollywood movie star, Catherine Zeta-Jones, is suffering from Bi-Polar Disorder (allegedly the 'number 2' variety, which is less 'pronounced').

No doubt she's had a lot to contend with. Her husband's illness must have taken it's toll on her. Not to mention looking after her two kids, keeping up with her glittering career and the various homes the couple own throughout the globe.

Maybe it makes us ordinary folk a little bit smug to know that these kinds of illnesses are no respecter of persons, wealth or class. We can find ourselves thinking that with all that money, fame and superstar lifestyle, there is no immunity from the kind of trials lesser mortals experience.

Part of me thinks that. But then part of me feels a little bit of sympathy for the Mrs Michael Douglas. Maybe if she'd stayed in the Gower (a lovely part of Wales); and married a Welsh rugby player like, say, Charlotte Church, everything would have been lovely. Or maybe not.

Still, there's always a silver lining to these things. Stephen Fry's very public battle with Depression seems to have given a whole new dimension to his career. Maybe Miss Zeta-Jones will claim a different piece of the limelight now. All the images I found on Google show her looking lovely as usual. There are none of her falling out of a 'rehab' clinic or coming out of club in a drunken or drugged state; or showing their underwear (unless in very tasteful poses). Witness celebrity 'sufferers' of other conditions, who have often been 'papped' in such compromising situations. Maybe the ever-tasteful, serene Catherine is a prime candidate to front a new campaign for this nasty illness. Certainly this timely reporting makes sure that the other Catherine doesn't get all the attention over Easter.

Happy? Fill in another form for the Government to tell them so!

Not content with asking the population to fill in extremely tiresome census forms, the Government now wants us to fill in a form to tell them how happy we are. (Today programme, radio 4 this morning).

This is surely a devious way of taking our mind off the misery of the failing economy, falling house prices, unemployment, student loans and the many other causes of discontent in our society.

By attempting to measure things which are really difficult to measure; and by making it look as if we are a lot of 'moaning minnies', the politicians are neatly setting aside those things which they do not want to measure (or don't want to publicise). Things which make us very unhappy indeed.

Blondie - Live at the Hammersmith Odeon (1980)

There's a video on Facebook at the moment featuring the Iconic 'Blondie', performing 'Atomic Kitten' at the Hammersmith Odeon in 1980. I wasn't at the live performance, sadly, but the song still affects me physically. This was Blondie at her incredible best. As if daring people to think otherwise at the time,she is wearing a long T-shirt/short T-shirt dress printed with the word 'BAD', designed by Andy Warhol.  Fantastic. And to think she can still have an effect on the Facebook generation.

Marilyn Monroe is famously associated with the saying 'Gentlemen prefer blondes'; and maybe the jury is still out on that. But Blondie is the only person who ever convinced me that blonde could be, not only beautiful, but dynamic, serious, artistic and 'earthy', rather than ethereal and delicate. Legend.

The Winning Words of Football's Fabio Capello

There's been a lot in the news lately about the 'linguistic limitations', shall we say, of football manager, Fabio Capello.  He freely admits that his vocabulary, which he estimates at around 100 words and growing, is sufficient to do his job well; despite the fact that he has received a lot of criticism about his limited vocabulary.

It reminds me of the time my son was going off to play football against another local prep school team; at the age of five or six. The team had not had a good season. They'd all followed the ball up the pitch and down again, but very few goals had resulted. On this particular occasion, though, as they were setting off on the coach; the tall, commanding headmistress, waved them off with the following exhortation: 'Play well boys. And remember, WIN!' And guess what? They did.

My linguist friend has written in much more depth about this subject on her blog, which you can easily find by googling 'Virtual Linguist'.

Philosophy as applied to Celebrity - and jumping the queue for a taxi

The Times yesterday carried a report about the French 'Celebrity Philosopher', Bernard Henri-Levi. Apparently, he went straight to the front of a queue for taxis, leaving people in the queue outraged by his rude and selfish behaviour.

As Philosophy tends to be a subject where one questions everything, I'm asking myself why on earth the French put up with BHL? Just because he used to be a bit good-looking, they call him a 'Celebrity Philosopher'. However, a 'proper' celebrity would surely have their own a chauffeur-driven vehicle wouldn't they? And shouldn't a Philosopher be more like A.C. Grayling, for example? He seems to me to be the archetypal 'gentleman and scholar'. I can just imagine the soft-spoken, gentle-mannered Anthony, allowing everyone in the queue go first!

The Wonders of the Universe and a Good Night's Sleep

Last night, I chose 'Wonders of the Universe' presented by the ubiquitous Brian Cox, for my Sunday evening viewing. I saw the opening scene with him standing on a snow-capped mountain; and then slept soundly for the next hour. When I went to bed, though, I couldn't sleep for ages. Why does this happen? Does anybody know?
I'd be very surprised if they do - even Brian 'Clever Clogs' Cox. It's probably just one of those wonders of the stupid universe that will need a few more million light years to yield an answer!

Should images of Japan's flag be used to generate donations to the disaster appeal?

As well as many acres of newsprint being written about the disaster in Japan, we have seen that it is in every other part of the media. Some very clever people have been producing eye-catching graphic images to encourage people to donate to the disaster appeal.You can see some of them here.

http://www.creativereview.co.uk/cr-blog/2011/march/japan-creative-response

Some of them have provoked quite a bit of debate because they have been described as 'inappropriate' or 'tasteless' in their use of the Japanese flag. Perhaps, like the news reports in other parts of the media, they are doing their job too well. Like all other areas of human activity, the quality and sentiments vary; but what is consistent is the desire to keep the subject uppermost in the minds of the public; so that people are more likely to help in some way.

In my own small way, this is why I am writing this.

'The Good of Japan' (continued)

My Japanese friend Akemi sent me the link to this Japanese-style commercial www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=K-Rs6YEZAt8 after I'd written yesterday's blog post. She said it 'cheered her up' amidst all the terrible news from Japan. It cheered me up too. I wanted to write about all the good and noble things of  Japanese society - ancient traditions, beauty of nature, noble Samurai spirit. And then this beer commercial came along and it says it all. It's got cherry blossom, Geisha girls, Sumo wrestlers, Samurai warriors, dragons, temples, calligraphy, waterfalls and those brilliant Japanese drummers. It's all here. Enjoy.

Lifting a finger to write about 'The Good of Japan'

For the past few days I have felt unable to post a blog. For one thing, I broke my little finger recently; and typing has been a one-handed affair. At first I thought I would just let it drop; but then I thought that anyone who has followed my blog posts from the beginning deserves an explanation. If there is such a person 'out there' please let me know as, at the moment, I don't know if I am simply 'wittering' into cyberspace. I say 'wittering' because I'm not on 'Twitter' at the moment (which I was quite scathing about in my previous post). However, it may come to that: I've succumbed to Facebook, LinkedIn and now Blogger, so who knows?

But what has all this got to do with Japan? (you may be asking). Well it's this: I started writing this blog to comment about things in the Media which I find noteworthy, strange, amusing or whatever. And, of course, Japan comes into the 'whatever'  category at the moment. Anywhere one looks, it's there. It has touched me emotionally, as it has many people. It has stopped me in my tracks as there is so much in the Media; and it's all so overwhelming. It can all scare the 'living daylights' out of you. Certainly stifle any creativity you may have.

So, on the advice of those who say, 'practice an attitude of gratitude' I say 'How lucky I am to have only broken my little finger'. It is painful and an inconvenient nuisance but apart from that, life is mostly going on as normal. I hope it will be very soon for our fellow human beings in Japan.

I also want to say 'thank you' that my friend Makiko, from Hiroshima, and her family are all safe. My Japanese friend Akemi, who lives in the UK also tells me that her family and friends are safe; and I see from Facebook that other Japanese friends and acquaintances are safe. Good things. Maybe not much in the scheme of things - but good. Ultimately, I believe human beings are born to be good and are born to create.

Talking of creativity, Akemi (or 'Koshu', as she is known in the calligraphy world) teaches beautiful brush lettering. You can look at some of her work here:  http://koshujapaneseart.co.uk   I used to take calligraphy lessons with Akemi; and I'll probably take some more - when my finger is better.

'The Internet makes Twits of us all'........

The headline for this blog post comes from the sign-off line in my blog of 23rd February, when I touched on the growing practice of Lawyers 'tweeting' about their cases from outside the courtroom. I'd heard about this on Radio 4's 'Law in Action', which was largely concerned with the Julian Assange case in that programme. Nothing new in that, you might say. After all, 'Tweeting' or 'Twittering' has been an accepted part of the news media for a while now. In fact, the Independent Newspaper prints a selection of daily Tweets, under the headline 'We follow them so you don't have to'. This itself is possibly implying that Tweeting is either an onerous activity; or one that Independent readers might not be choosing to do themselves, for other reasons (can't or won't is not implied).
What is more cause for concern is the growing practice of 'flogging' (i.e. 'fake blogging'), which my friend, who blogs as 'The Virtual Linguist' wrote about on 7th March. Link here  It describes the practice, which has now been identified and 'outlawed' in the US and is under review in this country. Examples have been highlighted in various news media, such as that of Liz Hurley, who is always (allegedly) tweeting about a certain brand of cosmetics, whilst carefully omitting the fact that she is paid to be the 'official face' of the company. The free online dictionary gives 'to market or sell aggressively' as the definition for 'flogging' and that is my own understanding of the original meaning of the word.From what I read, it seems that many companies are actively exploiting this aspect of the social media when they recruit young people to work for them. I guess it used to be called 'Public Relations' - a respectable occupation for reasonably intelligent, but primarily well-connected young people just out of college or finishing school. Substitute 'finishing school' for 'gap year' and you have almost the entire population of under 30's occupied in Social Marketing or Flogging.

Barbie for the Facebook Generation......

I ended my last blogpost by wondering what had happened to Barbie's boyfriend Ken. My friend who blogs as 'Virtual Linguist' said she'd heard that Barbie and Ken had split up several years ago. That made me curious enough to look it up on Wikipedia and, sure enough (my friend is much better with the research than I am), it says they split up in 2004. HOWEVER, in 2006,there were reports that they were hoping to get back together again after Ken got a makeover. In fact, I was amazed at what I found, looking through the masses of factual information about Barbie and her 'on-off boyfriend' as Ken is often described. Alternative lifestyles, lawsuits, it's all there. In fact, talking of lawsuits, I hereby retract what I said about Barbie being a 'blonde bitch' in my last post. Barbie has big money and power behind those fluttering false eyelashes and anyone who even hints that she might be some kind of trailer-trash slut better look out!

Barbie up against the wall in China

It seems that Mattel, makers of the ubiquitous Barbie doll, have decided to close their Shanghai outlet. See the full story here: Barbie store in China: Barbie closes shop in China - latimes.com
Apparently, it's not just to do with the doll's 'puke-making' pink dresses and 'sick-making' strawberry-blonde hair; but also the reluctance of Chinese women to embrace childish brands like 'Hello Kitty', which have gone down so well in Japan.
Whilst we should all applaud Western attempts to make cultural inroads into Asian markets, particularly those of China, surely that blonde bitch can't be said to be one of the highest points of Western Civilisation. I'm only left wondering if Barbie's boyfriend Ken has fared any better.

'Asian Gracefully' shows the sadness of care homes everywhere (Channel 4 , March 4)

If 'Asian Gracefully' was meant to be some kind of extended advert for this kind of care home, I don't know who it was intended to convince. Ten minutes into the programme, I was feeling just as sorry for these inmates as I do for my own mother, who lives in a very well-run care home in South Wales. They did seem to make more effort with the food, however. At one point, they gathered all the residents around a table and asked them what their favourite dish was so that it could be included in the menu planning. Various meals were suggested, though, interestingly, 'rice pudding' was one person's favourite; a dish which I would have thought featured on most care home menus - Asian or otherwise. It was all too much for one elderly lady who simply wailed 'I want to 'phone my son!'
The carer in charge said (as they always do in these places) 'We'll do that later, shall we?' My heart went out to her. A chicken curry with an onion bhaji was not going to fill the emotional void in her life. The material and cultural circumstances of these residents were possibly better; and this could lead to charges of Racism. However, as superior as this home was, it did not address the wider malaise of caring for the elderly in this country. Sir Gerry Robinson only scratched the surface in his documentary on dementia care back in 2009. No-one seems to have said anything or done anything to improve the situation since.

"I'm not a celebrity" insists Alastair Campbell

Alastair Campbell's joint appearance with Author Jeanette Winterson on last night's BBC Two programme 'My Life in Books'was interesting as it 'revealed' a couple of things that had obviously not been publicised very well so far about P.R.Giant Ali C. One was that, when he worked as Tony Blair's Press Secretary, Alastair Campbell's French was better than Tony's 'by a mile'. Despite this boast, however, Campbell was not exactly full of 'entente cordiale' towards the French. The other thing you might not have known about Alastair Campbell was that he made the list of nominees for the Literary Review's 'Bad Sex Award'last year. This award apparently goes to the writer who, from all the nominees, has been judged to have written about sex in the most cringeworthy way possible. I hear that the French do not have such an award because (naturellement) it is assumed that any French writer worth their garlic would deal with such a subject with style, substance and sensitivity. Campbell's feeble attempts to be self-effacing were made worse by comparing himself with Katie Price, who, he said, was a 'real celebrity'. He's not wrong there. As a household name twice over i.e. as 'Jordan' and 'Katie Price', the woman's fluency in the language of celebrity is ahead of Alastair Campbell's, not just by a mile, but by several. He's on the right lines though. By linking his name with that of Katie Price as much as possible, he'll gradually get into the celebrity groove more and more. Other things Alastair Campbell could do to 'celebretize' himself would be to a) launch his own brand of highland shortbread (see my previous posts on the p.r.values of shortbread) b)wear a kilt more often c) acquire a proper Scottish accent (look what it's done for Lorraine Kelly). But, of course, we all know that the only way to become a real celebrity these days is to enter The Jungle. 'Bad Sex Award'? Katie Price? It's just a short 'Highland Fling' to celebrity bling for the man Jeanette Winterson said was 'not as bad as we all thought'(Or words to that effect). Praise indeed.

Longer commercial television breaks might improve nation's health...

A relaxation of the rules by broadcasting watchdog Ofcom will mean longer commercial breaks during television dramas. This must be a good thing for the health of many television viewers (myself included), who slump in front of the t.v. for hours on end without taking a break in case they miss part of a programme.

Longer commercial breaks will mean that there's now definitely going to be time to go to the loo and make that cup of tea. Which will involve getting off the sofa and stretching our legs.

Julian Assange statement by Mark Stephens gives Swedish band Abba’s ‘Mamma Mia’ a boost

We should neither put Wikileaks founder Julian.Assange above The Law nor make him a victim of it. His success and his (alleged) misdeeds are all part of the same person. It seems fair and just that he should either be charged in this country. Or that some sort of guarantee be given by the Swedish Government that the whole thing will be 'aired' in as public a manner as possible, starting with any  'charges' to be made. Mr Assange might not like this and neither might the Swedish authorities; but how else will things pan out? Incidentally, I cannot see the necessity for anyone to stand bail for Julian Assange. Where's he going to go after all? Australia? At least he'd go at his own expense and the current advertising says ‘There’s nothing like Australia’. But I don't expect the 'Celebrity Lawyers' would like that. Incidentally, before I could watch the statement by Mark Stephens, Julian Assange's lawyer, I had to watch a minute or so of Abba’s ‘Mamma Mia’ advertising the West End show, ‘Mamma Mia’. Excellent product placement!

The Law is a Twit...

...to paraphrase the bloke who said 'The Law is an Ass'. I've just been listening to 'Law in Action' on Radio 4, link here http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/yqp9m/ , available for a few more days. They were talking about several seemingly important legal issues; one of which was the 'Twittering' that's going on outside the Courts about that nice, blonde, personable-looking young man who (to use typical legalese) on the one hand is an internet God. And yet, on the other hand, is alleged to have committed some heinous offences in Sweden. Now my knowledge of the Law is rudimentary at best; but can someone explain why this J.A. chap (even his initials are very similar to J.C.'s)can't go back to where he belongs (isn't that Australia?)At his own expense, of course; as I'm guessing he's made a few quid on this internet lark. Failing that, the video link to a possible trial in Sweden seems a good idea. Then, the whole thing will be public. After all, as a notorious 'secrets smasher', he should expect everyone to be taking an interest in the outcome of the trial. At least here, I've given the matter a little more deliberation than I might on Twitter, (Judgement pronounced in half-a-dozen words). The Internet makes twits of us all.

No such thing as a free teabag offer!

I noticed that a certain brand of tea carried a 'try me free' offer the other day; so I put one in my shopping basket at the supermarket.

When I looked at the small print, I noticed that the offer was 'Internet only' and that I had to give my bank account details in order to get a refund on the £1.75 which I had spent on the product. Alternatively, I could claim a 'free' pashmina (as long as I spent £3.99 on postage) or some garden seeds (also if I paid the postage).

If none of these alternatives were acceptable to me, I could let them 'donate' my £1.75 to the 'Rain Forests'. Now, faced with that choice, what kind of hard-hearted, anti-social 'miseryguts' is NOT going to contribute to such a worthy cause?

Me. That's who. I am annoyed with the makers of this tea and I have sent them an email to say I won't be using any of their products in the future. However,I am even more annoyed with myself for getting 'hooked' by such a 'too good to be true' offer.

Larry the Votecatcher

Either the Prime Minister is taking a P.R.leaf out of the U.S. President's book. Or there really are some big rats on the run at Downing Street (other than the ones we see coming and going on the news media).

The Clinton family and the Bush family paraded their respective dogs before the cameras and, undoubtedly, presented their owners to the voting public in a more human light. Maybe Larry the Cat will do the same for the Camerons.

However, like his owners, I'm guessing that Larry will be too well fed to concern himself with ratcatching. He'll probably catch quite a few voters though.

Wossy's joke about his own speech impediment at BAFTA's

Jonathan Ross (Wossy)jokingly referred to his own speech impediment as he hosted the BAFTA's on Monday evening at the Royal Opera House. As expected, 'The King's Speech' swept the board of awards and deservedly so. It's a legendary 'feelgood' film of the kind that doesn't come along often enough.

Wossy also makes people feel good (mostly). It's probably the secret of his success.
How far his success can be attributed to his (very slight) speech impediment is difficult to tell. But, as 'Showbiz Royalty' now, I doubt he'd want to get rid of it. In fact, it's probably a 'no bwainer'!

My Tv Ads | Compare the Meerkat

My Tv Ads | Compare the Meerkat

David Beckham - Good Samaritan or Style Icon?

David Beckham was dubbed a 'Good Samaritan' this week as he stopped to help a stranded motorist whose car had broken down.

The news reports were very clear about the age and make of the car driven by the stranded motorist - but there were differing (and competing) reports about the car driven by Beckham.

On the web page of a well-known and respected newspaper, the editorial quoted one make of car, whilst the advertising alongside it flagged another competing make.

It was a 'good thing' to stop and help and I am sure that, like the Good Samaritan in the Bible, the footballing Samaritan would not have done it for the extra publicity.

The media and car advertisers will do that for him!

The Meerkats 'Retirement Home' - so accurately drawn!

My Movies | Compare the Meerkat

Having spent more time visiting retirement homes than I ever wanted to, I can categorically assure you that the Meerkats 'retirement home' commercial is spot on in terms of accuracy. It makes me laugh and cry at the same time.  Such genius! I cannot stop replaying this ad over and over again. Maybe I am ready for the retirement home!

Product Placement in Films

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00f1336#media 


Click on this link for a discussion on 'You and Yours' (Radio 4) about Product Placement in Films. For example, would you believe that the film 'The Black Swan' has generated interest in recordings of the classic 'Swan Lake'?

Product placement in 'The Archers'

Oh dear! There's a storm brewing in the teacups of 'The Archers' characters at the moment. It's all thanks to a mention of 'Duchy Shortbread'. Duchy is the brand of shortbread produced by the Prince of Wales and I think it's really delicious. So does Ian, the Chef in 'The Archers' radio series (an 'Everyday Story of Countryfolk'). As he produces a pretty mean shortbread himself, this was praise indeed for the Prince's famous brand. Unless you were listening very carefully, though, you'd have hardly heard the word 'Duchy' as Ian barely whispered the word.

Nevertheless, it was enough to have listeners writing into the BBC. Many people think that the BBC should be above that sort of 'cheap' product placement.

It just goes to show that, even though most of the avid listeners of 'The Archers' are the wrong side of 30, quite a lot of them are not as doddery and 'over-the-hill' as you might think.

A blog about advertising, branding, marketing and selling.

'Part One' was spent working in mainstream Advertising and Marketing. 'Endofpartone' is where I comment on that time and also on things that strike me as interesting in those areas.

Lingo Kid- Talented Indian Kid speaks many languages